Let The Sun Caress Me

I Should Have Killed Him... Sooner

I woke up, bloody hands, bloody knife and  a man's body laying limb and lifeless in front of me. The blood looked so thick and rich. I wonder what it taste like. I need to get up and get out, I killed him, I should have done this sooner.Not long after I fed my craving for justice, I began to thirst again. Soon after I killed him, I killed her too, Jocelyn.

We have moved into a beautiful house down south, John and I have been married for years now, and after trying again and again to conceive we have birthed a beautiful baby girl, now 2 years old. The house John chose for us was a colonial mansion, dark and beyond massive yet intriguing. 

Like my brother my husband too is a physician, they tell me I'm sick and should minimize stimulation of any kind. However, I don't believe them, I refuse to let them tell me something I know is not true. John says I should not think about my condition, let alone talk about it, so I focus on this beautiful mansion. Our beautiful daughter's name is Leah, such a beautiful child. I think we should have more children however John sleeps in one room and I sleep in another, with Leah. 

My room is locked from the outside by my husband every time he leaves, he says it's for my safety. I believe him for a while, then start to reconsider his reasoning. But I'm sick, I don't need to socialize, it'll only make me sicker. He's only protecting me from myself, how loving and caring of him. He'd usually take Leah with him most of the times so I would get better faster, I can't wait until I can go out again into the field of flowers and dandelions I see from this bared window.

I ask my husband to bring Leah to me. He doesn't, he says that I'm still sick. I agree with him and just sit on my chair, look out the window and feel the warmness of the sun, although sometimes too hot to handle, I sit there and feel how the sun caresses my skin, something John hasn't done in months because he's to busy with Jocelyn. He thinks I don't know. 

This room is so dull and lifeless, it needs some color. I ask John to put up some wall paper. He brings me samples of different patterns and right away I fall in love with he yellow one. It speaks to me, I know that when the sun is down and no longer caressing my skin, this wallpaper will give me the feeling of touch I so long from John. "I want this one honey, this one is the one that will give me what you no longer do" I said. John says "I told you you're sick, I love you, that's why I have you here, this room will give you the healing you need and hopefully this wallpaper color will make you feel better" He walks out of the room and locks the door behind him, I always imagine the sound of the door locking as John telling me he loves me, he does.

I don't know hat day it is but it's been two weeks since the wallpaper has been up and I can't feel the touch, not even the Sun can satisfy me anymore. I can't even recognize the woman in the mirror looking back at me with those dark sunken eyes. Her hair is unruly. Leah cries in the background but it's become a noise that blends with the soothing sound of nails screeching on a chalkboard, over and over penetrating me in the worst way over and over. 

This wallpaper is the constant reminder of what I am lacking. It reminds me of what will never be again. I keep a a diary to track the days since John doesn't even bother tot ell me anymore. I don't even see him. Well, I do, but through these bared windows. I do see him with Jocelyn, I've learned they are now married. How? She is now bringing forth a child into this world.

I'm beginning to embrace the wallpaper, their relationship and the idea of never being able to smell freshly cut grass again. Leah has been crying so loud lately, I can only hear her because these walls are so paper thin. John wont even let me see or hold her.

After keeping a journal a secret for so long I got fed up of not acting upon my feelings. Today I'm craving for rich red blood, and i'm going to get it. 

As soon as I hear John's knock at the door I knew it was time to quench my thirst. As soon as he opens the door violently strike him with  the only lamp in the room. It knocks him right out. After hearing a loud noise Jocelyn comes to the room, and I quench my thirst again. I ran to my closet and got the knife I've been hiding for so long, the one I'd know I'd kill them with. I drift into a black hole and come back when everything is said and done. I wake up and see blood on myself, and most things around me. Two bodies limb and lifeless in front of me,I can hear Leah crying. 

The wallpaper attempts to caress me one more time, but this time  don't need it. I have myself.... I'm all I need. 

Jason By Conner

Jason

Scene 1

(Jason enters, Creon turns towards Jason. Jason says to him with joy)

Jason: Creon I understand you wanted to see me, you have good news for me?

Creon: My boy I had sent for you because I have chosen you to marry my daughter. I have decided that since you have saved our land, brought us the Golden Fleece and have such a loving reputation that you are perfect for my daughter.

Jason: Wow! (He exclaimed) I’m very honored. Unfortunately, I must decline your ever so generous offer.

Creon: You turn down my daughter?! How could you? Is this because of the barbarian you brought back with you from your recent travels?

Jason: That “barbarian” happens to be the mother of my two young boys. She has given a lot for myself and our land. Her name is Medea and I don’t plan to turn on her.

Creon: That is quite noble of you. You would marry into fortune and power. Your name could be loud enough to be heard in many lands; if you marry her.

Jason: Creon you have a very lovely daughter and your promises of fame and fortune are tempting, but I cannot and will not betray her love!

Creon: Unfortunate… you said you have two boys, right? You must love them just as much as that barbarian wife of yours?

Jason: Of course, sir. They are my flesh and blood. I would do anything for them to make them as well as Medea happy. I will not betray them by marrying your daughter!

Creon: (Sighs) Well it seems you left me no choice; if you don’t marry my daughter your family will be vanquished.

Jason: You threaten my family?! How can a king do such? (Sighs and in a dreary, defeated voice) Alright as you wish my king. (Bows) Just please leave my family out of this.

Creon: Sure, but you can’t tell a soul of these conditions. You are to tell your wife you are leaving her for the better of your family and that is all.

Jason: Medea, my love, I’m sorry for what is about to happen. Please forgive me.

(Creon turns and walks away from Jason. Jason gets   up and walks out of the palace. When alone he drops to his knees and weeps for the transgressions he must commit to protect his family)

Scene 2

(Jason returns home to tell his family about his new marriage.)

(Jason enters)

Medea: Jason you have returned my love what is it the king wanted with you?

Jason: (looks up at Medea) Creon summoned me to give me his daughters hand in marriage. (Medea gasps in awe) I said yes to him.

Medea: You treacherous snake, how could you do this to our family? After all I have done for you, all I’ve given up?

Jason: My wife I do this for our family. Our family will prosper.

Medea: How is that? Leaving us for the gods to smite us as they please.

Jason: My love, I can tell you that our fame and fortune will grow as I marry into royalty. That is all I can say.

Medea: How is that the situation? How will you abandoning us make our lives easier?

Jason: I said all I can. Please let’s move on, forgive me.

Medea: Forgive you?! Never how can you ask me to do that, I can’t.

Jason: I must go now. I’m sorry but it’s for the best.

Medea: If you turn and walk out that door not even Hades will accept the three of you in his realm.

(Jason turns and walks out.)

Jason: (To himself) Gods have mercy on us, please. I should tell Creon what happened, she was quite upset.

Scene 3

(Sun Starting to set.)

(Jason enter the palace and demands to speak to King Creon. He enters and says.)

Creon: What is it you want at this hour?

Jason: I came here to tell you that I spoke to Medea and told her and the kids what is going to happen without breaking our agreement, she didn’t take it well at all.

Creon: (Sarcastically) Well that’s unfortunate. It seems as though she cannot be trusted and will be banished along with the kids to protect us.

Jason: No! Sire she won’t harm us. Please she means no harm.

Creon: I can’t take that chance. She has knowledge of   dark arts.

Jason: But my king, I must protest, she…. I…… love her. The kids they can’t just leave.

Creon: We shall see!

(Creon turns and storms out with guards.)

(After 30 minutes of considering what to do Jason tries to get to Medea before Creon,)

Scene 4

(Jason reaches Creon as he is returning from his meeting with Creon.)

Jason: I’m glad I caught up with you before you reached Medea. I want to say…

Creon: (Interrupting Jason) I don’t care to hear what you have to say. We have banished her and your children. (Jason attempts to speak) As I said I don’t care to hear you speak! I gave her and your kids a day to get out of here, be grateful. (Creon walks off with his guards. Jason turns towards his home and goes towards it to try and help Medea and the children.)

(Jason enters the home, walking up to Medea. Medea continues what she is making and says…)

Medea: I see the venomous viper has decided to show itself in his old home. Have you come to see us off?

Jason: I came to help and tell you I tried to talk to Creon. He just…

Medea: (Interrupts) I know I know you said you are trying to help, (sarcastically) you are quite the gifted speaker.

Jason: I don’t understand why you won’t believe that I am trying to help.

Medea: It is because I know what he has said is more than kind words to you, which when spoken to you distracts you from your priorities. I know how much you like to hear your name.

Jason: (Angrily) Fine if that is how you feel about my manhood then yes I am leaving you on my own free will.

Medea: (Finishes her task and turns towards Jason.) Finally, he knows how to speak the truth. Well, seeing as how I am not going to be bitter any further; I have made a gift for your loving wife. The kids will bring it shortly while I prepare further for our departure.

Jason: (Shocked) Really?  Well, thank you for understanding. I am really doing this for us, I should be going now.

The End

Isabella's Sactuary

                                        

In this home belongs every piece of me. It is a bit cluttered? Yes. But everything in here represents a place I’ve been or a person I’ve met and I don’t believe in throwing away tangible memories. I have always lived my life this way. Exploring, finding, and keeping. If I see something that catches my attention, I must have it. Especially flowers, even the dead ones. I value giving them one last proper home, that being mine, where they will be admired and loved. I won’t throw them away until they have completely fallen to pieces and lost all hope.

            That is why this place means so much to me, because it is me. My gardens hold my closest friends. Since I’ve never had any children of my own, I find great satisfaction in creating life through my flowers and plants. I spend most of my time out here alone, yet I don’t feel lonely because I am able to observe so much life. Each spring I see them bud, bloom, and thrive. Sure it comes with grief when they must do as plants do and eventually die out but I find hope in the fact that we will met again.

                                                                        ~

            There was a time when I had many friends and family to surround myself with, but I have gotten older, and due to what some might call “unfortunate circumstances” I haven’t had much energy to venture out any further than my gardens. The only person who comes to visit me on a more regular basis is my niece Emilia. Her father is my brother and I believe the last time I saw him was Christmas day three years ago. But Emilia and I have always remained in touch. She visits me every Friday afternoon where she will bring gardening magazines to me and I don’t ever let her leave without a basket of my fresh strawberries. She is the closest person to me yet there is still a lot she does not know about me simply because I don’t let anyone know much about me. Most of the time our conversations are for her focus around the excitement of her life. She is much younger and I enjoy listening to her youthful stories. I will occasionally let her in, but most of them time any focus on me is quickly deflected by me with questions about her. I am okay with this arrangement. It’s not that I don’t trust her, but I consider my mind and secrets a sacred place that prefers to be kept under lock and key I believe Emilia understands this and I’d like to say we have an unspoken agreement on it.

                                                                        ~

            Today is a beautiful Friday morning, the day of our usual visit. However, I received a phone call from Emilia earlier in the week informing me that she would not be able to make it over because she wasn’t feeling well. I used this as an opportunity to spend extra time to explore my favorite place, my gardens. It’s a shame Emilia would be stuck inside all day because it was exceptionally beautiful out. I felt the sun warming skin so I decided to put on my favorite sundress and head out to explore the yard. I slid on my shoes and with basket in hand, I headed down the pathway.

                                                                        ~

Two or three house must have passed since I had left and I it weren’t for the increased cool breeze awakening my senses, I might have stayed out there even longer. Now feeling more alert, I noticed my basket was starting to overflow with my pickings so I began to retreat towards the house. I walked up the side of the house where I observed the mailman beginning his exit down my driveway. He being the only person I see more than Emilia I waved hello and we chatted for a bit. I asked him how his day was.

”Every day is beautiful!” he said. “With this gorgeous sun though, today is extraordinary beautiful.” he continued.

I smiled in agreement and turned away toward the house when I had to stop because I noticed Emilia’s Volkswagen Beatle at the end of my driveway. Feeling perplexed I made my way up the walk way and entered the side door.  There was Emilia sitting at my marble-topped table. I came in from behind her but she knew I was there because she could see me approaching through the mirror that hung slightly transverse to her. There were many recently dropped of mail and letters scattered across the table. It was difficult to read her expression because I am not used to seeing her without a smile. I then noticed that she had opened one of the letters. My mind didn’t need much time to put the pieces together. I knew what was playing out in front of me. What she had discovered were my bills. Medical bills to be exact. One for every doctor visit I had not paid for. It was then that I knew she’d found out my secret. The one I’d hope no one would know. Tears were now in her eyes and she couldn’t get any words out and neither could I. I could not place together any words that would make this go away.  She handed me the envelope addressed to me from Midwest Oncology office. It was obvious now that for the first time, I was going to have to be gut wrenchingly honest with her. But for now, the only three words that wouldn’t leave my head were; “Yes Emilia….cancer”.

They

Its happening again, their here
They're watching..... watching with a purpose, to see me make the wrong move
But, I have to admire them though in a sick twisted way
The paitience they have waiting just to see me falter is truly a sight
They sit in the shadows as if they go unseen.... but I know....oh yes I know what they desire the most
The horrid salivating grins they plaster on their face when the lights go out, their hollow lifeless eyes that seduce you into submission until you are in arms reach of them as they slowly scuffle across the floor,
they walk with a mission
Now if you're reading this, you maybe asking why haven't I tried to get help...
But that's where you have wrongly mistaken, for I have
Though you come to find no one listens once you have been given a gown, a sterilized white room with padded walls and a tiny single door that locks in from freedom.
Those madmen in white walk around with a holier than thou attitude, they don't want to hear..... they don't care to know.
However, if my memory serves me correctly there may have been one who seemed to care
It still somewhat of a blur so forgive me..
It was one day when I was being escorted back to that hellhole they call a room,when I seen an old leather bound journal, though any small splash of color amongst this snow white room would catch anyones' eye. When I approached this journal, there was a small tattered piece of paper laying on top with the most undistinguishable handwriting, from what I could make out it seemed to say
"For those nights when you need it"
(How stupid was I back then to not know the severity of my mistake.)
I couldn't for the life of me understand what that note could have possibly meant until about two nights later.
I was being taken... well, more liked dragged back to my room by two madmen because I was apparently causing a scene amongst the others who where imprisoned here.
Once in my room the tallest of the two madmen restrained me to the bed by the hands and feet making sure to pull the leather extra tight so it became painful, while the gross portly one injected me with some sort of liquid to induce a sleep like state that would calm me down.
As they were leaving my room, one of the madmen though I am not sure which of the two, sarcastically said sweet dreams.
I detest being confined in the dark.
I was coming and going from a dream like state, but it couldn't have been more than an hour since both men left me in this room when the noises started.
It was quiet at first, almost a hushed murmur, but it was loud enough to capture my attention
The noises now started to sound like voices and they started to pick up in volume, what sound like one voicein the beginging now turned into a choir
I remember looking around the best I can with my limited mobility to identifiy the source of the ruckus but to no avail, it was hopeless
And that was what struck me as odd back then, how could something sound as if it was all around you but have no point of orgin.
The noises or voices or whatever the hell it was showed no signs of dying out anytime soon.
I tried to block it out, it was growing unbearable to the point of being painful on my sensitive ears.
It was then as if the noise was suddenly smacked out the air by some unknown force, because the room was quiet....
I slowly cracked open one eye, (even though I never remember having closed them)
and as I continued to open my eyelid that was the first sight of them I seen, it was like looking into the eyes of the devil himself.
I tried turning my head or even shutting my eyes to no longer stare at this beast, but I couldn't....
I tried..... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD how I tried!... I was entranced though by its hypnotic gaze and sickening grin.
As it leaned closer towards me, my heart was drumming in my ears, my wrists and ankles were raw from twisting and pulling at the restraints but I still couldn't look away. The closer the more fearful I came but I still couldn't keep myself from looking.
But, then it was gone as if it was never there.
I tried to tell someone but no one bothered to hear me out. I tried every day that week until I realized my cries for help were being ignored.
It was then when I decided if no one was going to listen I would write it, and I did exactly that.
It was as if whoever left that journal for me knew exactly what was going to happen.
I stayed in my room all day as if I was working on the world's greatest masterpiece ever known to man.
I wrote until my head ached and my vision grew blurry, I worked throughout that night, because I knew in order to get every detail right I could not stop.
Once I finished writing I remember feeling this big weight being lifted off my chest because I was able to let everything out. I wasn't sure then if what I had experienced that night was all in my head or not but I knew I would not forget it.
I thought things would get better, and they did..... for just the remainder of the weekend
Everynight leading up to this moment was becoming a nightmare,and the it turned into them.
They were growing in numbers one by one everynight, and each night was something new.
Each night I wrote in this journal about my encounters with them and every day the same pages I wrote on would be blank as if the next night never exsisted.
It was an endless loop that I had no chance of escaping
And each night they grew more dangerous,
And each night they grew hungry,
Their disgustingly sweet smelling breath would be huffed in my face as they observed me from beside my bedside.....
They would silently snicker, feeding off my fear.
They watched and waited throughout the nights and be gone by first dusk making me severly question my sanity that is already called into question,
I was loosing sleep but no one around me seemed to notice, like i said no one cared
It was then last night when they almost succeeded, they almost got me. But they fail to see I m one step ahead of them,
I don't know how long it took me to realize it but those pages... those stupid journal pages were not being magically erased they were being teared out as if to make me forget those events from previous night. But no, I refuse to forget ,I outsmarted them by not writing my encounters of the previous night so that way they have no knowledge of what my plan would be to avoid them.
And now I am here waiting for them to show,
This may be my first and last journal entry to officialy stay in this journal.
I hear the minutes slowly ticking away from outside the door, any second now they should be here
THERE DID YOU HEAR IT !!! The scuffling of feet on the floor. They are coming from down the hall making their way here.
Its almost time, I will get them before they get me



Their making the noises and they seem to be reverberating off of every corner in the hallway as they grow closer to their prime destination,
Just alittle closer and they should be by my door

Well my dear reader our journey is almost over.....
The handle on the door is being jiggled..............


As the doctor came to the end of the journal page he was horrified to read the accounts of his former paitient.
"Doctor, why did it happen, wasn't there anything you could do ?"
"In all my years of medical training have I never come across such a fast degression of mental stability, it's my fault.."
"I'm not following doctor"
"I....I..I... should have reconginzed it sooner, I could have stopped it."
"What are you talking about doctor !"
"My boy, your brother is not well... and from studying these pages in his journal from the past week he has been only getting worse with each passing moment"
"But.. when I took him home for the visit, he showed signs of major improvment, you even said it yourself doctor, that if he kept up this good path you would release him"
"I'm sorry.... son....I am so sorry... but he had us fooled"
"I don't believe you"
"Son!, your brother has been having these fantasies about the staff out to get him, he had this belief that they were watching him waiting just to trying to eat him"
"But can you cure him ?"
"Your brother is too far gone, he can't comeback from what he did"
"There has to be something"
"Your brother knocked one of the staff members uncouncious and started to eat him because he claims he was going to get them before they got him, HOW CAN YOU TREAT THAT ! your lucky he is to unstable to be sent to jail where he belongs"


All while this was taking place in the office of the doctor, the camera monitors at the front desk were picking up a pacing movement from the small dingy grey solitary confinement room.

I know they're watching me and I know they are waiting
but not this time........

Diary of Jason

I

    I have done terrible things. Terrible things out of greed. Things that no man should do, but I have no way to repent the things I’ve done. I live here in Corinth with my wife out of fear. Fear that we will be found and we will pay for my crimes. My Medea, my beautiful wife which I have brought back from Colchis, you are why we are here; you helped me commit these crimes and why we can never go back, but it is fine. I am here for you.

II

    My wife has given me a second son. Praise the heavens, this is more than i could ever ask for. Medea you have outdone yourself. You are more than words can describe. You have given me everything and I, have given nothing. I must repay you for this beautiful family. A man such as I, who has committed such horrible crimes should not live such a happy life. I will be here for you, I will give our family everything I can.

III

Today I spoke with King Creon. Our family is no longer welcome here. I begged and I pleaded for our family to stay, we have caused no harm, but he will not let us stay.

But then I saw her, the daughter of the king, she had no man to marry for there were none worthy of her hand.. Then I proposed to creon, that if I must, I would marry the princess so that my family could have all their desires. Though I would not be there, I'm sure they would rather have a nicer  and even a better home away from Corinth. I am Jason, the leader of the Agronauts, who has retrieved the Golden Fleece from Colchis. I am more than well suited to become a part of their royal family. I am sorry my dearest Medea, but I must. For the sake of our family I must take upon this offer.

IV

You must understand, with exile brings with it all sorts of hardships. Although you may well despise me now, I could never have bad feelings for you, Medea. By marrying the king's daughter our family will flourish, our sons will long and happy lives and you will never have another worry in the world. I will send my wishes with lots of money to keep you happy. You are still my wife, I will take care of you even if i won't be there personally.

V

    Today I have spent my time out with the king's daughter. She is kind, and her hair so soft. She often reminds me of my Medea, in a softer, more feminine way. I wonder how Medea will be once the wedding begins. I wonder if she will come, if she will support me in the way I wish to support her.

    This girl, the princess, does she know? Does she know that I'm marrying for her money? Would she be upset if she knew? I'm am unsure. I will take my time with her today, Medea needs time to calm herself and collect her thoughts. There is no room for anger now, I should enjoy myself her now while I can, for who knows what will happen while away from home.

VI

    Today is the wedding, the day I must say my farewells to Medea, but she seems to be happy, she even has given me a gift to give to my new wife. Maybe she has come to her ways and has realized that this is all for her.

VII

    I was wrong, I have never been so wrong ever in my life, Medea has done nothing out of kindness. Her gifts have killed the King and his daughter on the day of my wedding. She has stolen my sons, to never let me see or touch them again. Their lives taken at such a young age. Medea, you cannot be forgiven for what you have done, you've ruined our family out of rage.

    What am I to do, without my family, I am nothing. There is nothing left for me.

VIII

    Medea, I can never understand why you have done the things you've done. my life means nothing without you here. I had only wanted the best for you and our sons. I can't believe that a mother would murder her children out of spite. How I miss those boys, to see their young faces and to play the way boys do. I will miss them greatly.

IX

    I saw them today, Medea, our boys are still cheerful and happy as they always were. As I lay here in bed, I can't help but to think of where you are and what you're doing. Our children need their parents, you must come home, Medea, for our boys.

X

    What was once our home, is now empty. I can hear her voice, speaking to me, telling me to make sure they kids have eaten. I have to get up, I have to take care of our family, but Medea, I cannot move. I haven't left this dark space since you came home, i cannot sleep nor think of what will become with me. I wish to see you, why won't you come near, Medea, you're wonderful. My life has been yours, so why don't we go to bed?

The Little Yellow Wallpaper

Yellow walls surround my bed. Pieces of the yellow wall paper are missing, but you can still see the tints of yellow in it. There are dark shadowed claw marks that scale one of the walls, to be exact it is the wall that faces my bed. This bed I lay at night on is nailed to the floor and it gives me the urge to stay awake at night. Daddy does not like it when I stay up late. He says that if I do not get rest, I will turn into a monster. I know this isn't to be true, so I stay up late writing in this journal. Daddy doesn't like me writing in my journal. He says it will make me sad. I must go though I can hear him on the other side of the door.

I wish I knew my Mommy sometimes. Daddy said she left when I was a baby. Daddy said she liked to write in her journal, but it made her sad. Daddy doesn't like to talk about her much. I bet she would have loved this yellow wallpaper. 

The rooms in this house seem to be emptier and emptier by each day. Daddy is always away in town. He tells me that one day he will not have to work and we could stay in this house forever. For now I just spend my time alone. I like to sit in the beautiful garden and watch the creatures play. There are small ones, big ones, skinny ones, fat ones, furry ones, and scaly ones too. Once I was laying in the cool grass, I saw a enormous butterfly. Its body was as black as coal, but its wings were as yellow as the wallpaper in my room. Its kind of an ugly color. I wish Daddy would paint it a pretty blue or pink. Maybe some other day. 

The bright yellow moon is out tonight. It's light streams through my bedroom window and dances on the yellow wallpaper. The light of the moon makes different shadows appear on the yellow wallpaper. Sometimes they remind me of the creatures in the garden. All night long I will stare at these creatures. Watching them. Waiting for them to move. Until I hear Daddy standing outside my door.

Once the sun rises I can see new shadows on the yellow wallpaper. These shadows seem to shrivel up into cracks, maybe even claw marks. I can only imagine what had happened in this room. I must go Daddy is bringing me breakfast. 

I couldn't finish my breakfast this morning. I grew to tired in my bed. Daddy said I should stop writing in my journal or else I will get tired and sad, but I like to write. I like to keep my thoughts clear and written down. You never know when you might need them.

The light from the moon is shinning through the windows again, but this time the creatures seem angry. They seem trapped behind bars. I do not want to set them free, but rather watch them and see if they can free themselves. One of the creatures has a face that seems to be upside down. It's eyes glow almost as bright as the yellow wallpaper. It whispers to me every night.

After breakfast this morning Daddy said he will be gone until tomorrow night, he has to visit an old friend in town. He wouldn't tell me her name, but he said she was as beautiful as me until she stopped listening to him. I believed Daddy then. I wanted to listen to him, but I love to write and I love to stay up all night. Maybe what he says isn't true. 

The moon did not come out tonight to dance on my yellow wallpaper and the creatures seemed to be still now. I wish I could show my Daddy what I see at night, but I know he won't believe me. I wish he could see how beautiful the creatures are with their bright yellow eyes, crooked grins, and upside down faces. Maybe they will dance for Daddy or whisper to him as they do to me. 

Daddy is in his study next to my bedroom. He keeps banging on the wall telling me to be quiet. I can not help but giggle at the yellow wallpaper. The creatures are beginning to come to life in the sun light now. The sunlight shining through the window turns the creatures a beautiful orange color. They keep telling me to help them, but i don't think it is the right time yet.

Dinner was very quite tonight. Daddy was still mad at me from earlier. He found me writing in my journal. I apologized to him so many times he just got madder and madder. I think if I just stay quiet he wont yell at me anymore. 

The bright yellow wallpaper is grinning in the moon light tonight. The creatures seem to have an idea on how to escape. They ask me for my help. They begged and pleaded on their knees. I could see the red and yellow tears rolling down their cheeks. My eyes began to cry for them. I could feel their pain. I could feel their sorrow. I myself felt like I was trapped in that yellow wallpaper with them. I think tonight is the night I show Daddy what I see.

The sunlight never came out this morning. The room was as dark as night. Gloomy clouds were hanging over the house. I waited on my bed for Daddy to wake up, but he wasn't moving. I shook him and shook him, but he did not get up from the cold wooden floor that lay by the yellow wallpaper. The creatures of the yellow wallpaper were surrounding us. When I looked back at the yellow wallpaper I could see a woman's shadow. She looked so beautiful, maybe as beautiful as me. I could feel the happiness in the room. A very dark happiness. They placed a hand on my shoulder and said "Your mother is waiting for you" and they pointed to the yellow wallpaper. I could feel my smile growing from ear to ear. It was my mommy opening up her arms up to me!

The Girl in the Wallpaper

I don’t know where I am, but I do know that I should not be writing. I found an old marker and an old book in this room that I am confined in. The room is mostly empty. There is just a cot, an old dresser and some boxes filled with what looks like old household items. It seems like I am in someone’s basement, but who’s, I am unsure. I was grabbed by this man off the street. As he blindfolded me, he dragged me to his vehicle. After a drive that seemed like forever, here I am. There is one door in this room, a thick wooden door, with a lock on only the outside. I can only see the outside through a barred window at the top of the wall. I see grass and flower stems. Although it is such a plain view, I wish so much to be out there.

 Why he chose me, I don’t know. How long I’ve been here, I don’t know. I spend my days staring at the walls, which are wallpapered with the most hideous pattern of yellow swirls. The paper is peeling in some spots, revealing the bare wall underneath. It looks old and tattered and like nothing I would want in my home. As horrific as it is, the paper takes my mind off of what is really going on. I will not write down what the man does to me when he comes to see me. If I write it, it will be real. I will never like this wallpaper, but for now it’s all I have.

The scene from the tiny window stays the same every day. I used to enjoy looking outside, but now all I see between those dark metal bars is the same grass, and that doesn’t interest me. I feel better just staring at the walls. For some reason, this wallpaper seems to be changing the longer I look. The pattern is shifting, it looks even worse than before. Those hideous swirls are actually moving and forming objects and pictures. I never thought wallpaper could move, but now I must change my mind because the swirls are moving before my eyes! It’s almost as if the paper is alive. For a second I actually thought I saw a pair of eyes in the pattern. A shadow of the silhouette of a man is forming on the wall! He must be coming back for me.

Time keeps passing and I do not hear the man coming. The shadow is still, he must not be moving. He must be standing there just watching me! But there are no windows in that solid wood door… He couldn’t be watching me. This is not my shadow. As I walked towards it, it stayed still.

 It is gone now. This terrible paper is making me crazy. How could I have seen a shadow? Or perhaps it wasn’t a shadow. Could there be someone behind the wall? Maybe that is why the paper is moving. The girl trapped inside is trying to get out. I must free the poor other girl, she must be suffering just as bad as I. I think the man knows that I have thought of freeing the girl on the inside of the paper. He looked at me with even more hatred and beat me even worse tonight. I am losing time to free her, I might be gone before too long.

 I have started to rip the paper slowly, starting in the corners. They are already tattered there so the man won’t notice. I can see the girl in the paper again, as she probably sees me. She is moving back and forth against the yellow wall. I want to help her so bad. I am clawing at the wall and tearing at the paper but I can’t seem to find her. I start to follow her silhouette with my shoulder on the wall. I pace back and forth with her, hoping she knows I am there. The paper is rubbing off on my shoulder and turning me yellow. Our bodies are becoming one and we are beginning to look the same.

I am not sure how long I have been pacing now but I feel so comfortable, like I actually belong here. I have rubbed a ridge in the wall and I fit perfectly in it. I never thought I would say this but I love this shade of yellow I am becoming. I want to be completely inside of it, then I can be with the other girl. The man came into my room screaming, asking me what the hell I was doing. But I don’t even care. I will keep creeping back and forth until this is over. Maybe one day I will be safe inside the wallpaper like the other girl and he won’t even notice me.