Burning Love

Vanessa
1.

It had just turned 5 o’clock as I ascended the stairs to my 3^rd floor walk-up. As I reached my apartment and began to unlock my door, I secretly hoped she was awake and moving about the house. I opened the door and realized that no such thing had happened; the apartment was exactly as I’d left this morning, except Lulu had peed on the floor. I took off my bag and placed it on the couch with my keys. I grabbed some paper towels from the holder and threw them down over Lulu’s mess. I took a deep breath and walked towards her room. I decided not to knock, I just walked in and just as I thought, she was still in her pajamas, although they were different pajamas from yesterday.

“Are you just gonna sit and mope all day for the rest of life?”

“Leave me alone” she sulked, her back facing me. She was curled in the fetal position.

“Brittany, people break up all the time! Their life just doesn’t stop because they broke off their engagement and their ex-fiancée ran off and married someone else! You build a bridge and get the hell over it. That’s it! You’ve been depressed, locked in this dark ass room for a week! You’re so much better than this!” She still couldn’t face me.

“You don’t understand, Nessa, you just don’t.” She replied

“What don’t I understand about it?” I spat back, rolling my eyes.“I’m pregnant” She replied, rolling over and showing me an 8 week ultrasound.

“Well, looks like it’s time to grow up.” I told her, placing the picture on the bed. She rolled back over away from me. In truth, I did feel bad for her, especially after all that she’d done for James and he turned around and treated her horribly, but it wasn’t like she was alone, she had our parents and me.

2.

Brittany and I were walking Lulu in the neighborhood and drinking ice coffee and chatting about the plans for the baby.

“So next week, Mom and Dad are flying in to come get you and ya’ll are gonna go back to San Diego and they're gonna help you with the baby and stuff.”

“I know, Daddy called” she replied. “I just, I’m really surprised that they volunteered to help me.”

“I mean I know that ya’ll have had your differences, but you’re their daughter too.”

“Vanessa, I stole from them! I stole dad’s $700 watch and sold it for concert tickets for James and I. It was awful.”

“I know, Britt, but time goes on and they’ve forgiven you and now they wanna help you out so let them.” I told her.

“I am.” She replied. We were on the way back to the house when we spotted James and Amanda walking across Delaware. As we walked past them, everyone smiled at one another and to my surprise nobody snapped or expressed any ill will.

“That was surprising” I exclaimed.

“I know” she replied with a smirk.

Brittany

3.

I hate having to play nice when I don’t want to. I’m a terrible ass liar, but I never tell the truth when it’ll make someone try and stop me. James and I had been together since we were sixteen years old. I was there when his parents divorced, when his Dad’s firm—the top law firm in the city went under, when his grandmother died and when they lost their house and he had the nerve to break off our engagement to marry someone else, but now I was putting all that anger aside to go meet him for lunch to tell him about the baby and my plans to move back home to raise it. I knew he liked and wanted kids so he deserved to know.

         I was sitting at the table, waiting for my salad when he walked in, wearing his green blazer and khaki slacks. He quickly made eye contact with and found his way to the table.

“Why’d you want me to meet you?” he asked, rudely, sitting in his seat.

“I’m pregnant” I spat out.

“Wh-wh-wh…” he tried to get the word out, but it wouldn’t come out. He seemed bewildered.

“Um… How can I help?” he asked, drinking water from the pitcher that had been placed out the table in the middle of our conversation. I was pleasantly surprised.

“I’m moving back to the west coast. My parents are gonna help.”

“I still wanna help.” He paused. “At least while I can.”

“Wait, what do you mean, while you can? This is your baby too.” I asked, trying not to spaz out.

“Well… Mandy’s pregnant too and we really want a baby.” He said.

“So your baby with me is less important because your wife is pregnant?”

“I mean… I’m gonna have a family and I wanna be there… without any reminder of my past.” I could feel the anger rising in my face and my fists were balled up on the table.

“So our baby is reminder of your…” I grabbed my glass of ice water, threw it in his face and walked out the restaurant.

4.

It was 11:45 at night and I was packing up my room, when Vanessa appeared in the doorway.

“I can’t believe my little sister is moving tomorrow!” she cried out as she joined me on the floor, folding my clothes.

“Oh, calm down, I’m moving home and we’ll skype all the time and at every doctors appointment for the lil one.” I told her, patting my tummy.

“You’re really gonna do this, by yourself, huh?” she asked.

“I have no choice, sis.” I laid my head her shoulder.

“Nessa, I’ll be back in an hour. I gotta take care of something.” I stood up and grabbed my bag from my bed.

“Hurry back!” she yelled as I ran out the door.

         By the time I made the trip to James’ house, it was nearly one in the morning and I knew he’d be at work. The only person that’d be home was Amanda and I knew she’d be sleep. I had tried to talk myself out of what I was about to do many times on the drive over here, many times, but I had come to the same conclusion each time; if James didn’t want my baby after he broke my heart, he didn’t deserve a baby. I was careful not to make too much noise as I retrieved a gas can from my car. I walked around the entire perimeter of the house letting the gas splash the sides of the house. I brought it around to the porch and drenched the porch and stairs in gas. I took an empty bottle from my car, stuffed it with a gas soaked napkin and threw it on the porch and it lit the house ablaze.

         I was in the airport the next morning when the news came on and the screen flashed, “PREGNANT WOMAN KILLED IN MYSTERIOUS HOUSE FIRE!” James appeared on the screen with Amanda’s mother and they were both crying. A smirk appeared on my face as I tilted my hat down and grabbed my bag to go board my flight to San Diego.