The Woman and The Wallpaper

Today is my first day with my brother John and his wife. They are staying in this new home while theirs is being repaired. He asked me to stay with them and look after the home and help with his wife and their baby. She is very troubled, always has been, but she has seemed to worsen since her baby, Jane, was born. John thinks this change of scenery will be good for his wife. Personally, I do not think much can help her at this point.

I have been here only a few days. John is very busy with his work; he is gone all day and sometimes even until very late at night working on cases. He is such a strong man, both mentally and physically. I cannot say the same for his wife. His wife has changed very much from the last time I saw her. She was once a strong woman, in the sense of how she presented herself, except now she seems extremely weak and fragile. She is very thin, pale, and almost ghost like. She looks as sick as I know she is mentally. I feel awful saying all this about her with her current condition but I worry for John. He is not with her as much as I am. I do not think he is aware of how much she has changed. The one thing that has struck me as very odd is her fascination with the wallpaper in her room. I do not understand the fascination; it is just this old yellow wallpaper. She is so mesmerized by it though.  She talks about it often in this journal she keeps, she hides it from John but I found it hidden in her room. I know I should not snoop but I want to understand her more.

The Fourth of July just passed and John had invited relatives over. It was wonderful having people come to visit. I enjoyed myself; John’s wife however did not. She was very distant and her mind seemed to be somewhere else. She seemed almost delighted when everyone left. John thinks her mental state is slipping and he wants to take her to Weir Mitchell if she does not show some progress soon. I update John nightly about her case and I can see he has become slightly stressed about her condition. He is not the same person that he was when we first arrived here. He too has become thinner and specks of gray are starting to appear in his dark hair from the stress.  John should take her to see Weir Mitchell anyway. I know her condition is worsening and I am afraid she will take John with her too.  He cares too deeply about her to see how very sick she is.

She has become extremely lazy as of late. She never wants to leave her room let alone her bed. John has given her some new medication and hope she will become more active. I do not think she really wants to though. All she really wants to do is look at the wallpaper. I still do not understand her fascination with it. I was looking at it and there is nothing special to it. She should really focus on getting better, not only for herself but for her daughter too. I do not mind taking care of Jane at all but she is Jane’s mother and she should be raising her. I spend most of my days with Jane in the garden. I have a direct view to her room from there so I can keep an eye on them both. Every so often I see her gazing out the window as us but most of the time she is just looking at the wallpaper.  It disheartens me to know that something as silly as wallpaper gets more attention than healing. She needs to heal soon because Jane is growing up so fast, and she is a really wonderful child and deserves her mother’s full attention.  

She was in a different mood today. She made John laugh which is something I have not heard in a while; it actually took me by surprise.  I do not think she is much better though. I do not want this sudden change in her to make John think she is better. All she does is sleep during the day and when she is not asleep she is looking at that wallpaper. I do not think I will ever understand this obsession.

She has officially gone mad. Right before John came home last night she locked herself in her room. John came home looking exhausted from one of his cases. I told him what she had done and he went running to her room. She refused to open the door; she kept saying something about a key and a leaf. John disappeared after she said that and returned seconds later holding a key. When he opened the door he started shouting and I looked in the room and saw her sitting in the corner of the room facing the wall holding the wallpaper in her hands. She turned to both John and I and said “I’ve got out at last, despite you and Jane. And I’ve pulled off most of the paper so you can put me back”. John fainted after she said that, it was probably too much for him to handle. She and John left with Jane a few days after the incident. He did not tell me much as to where they were going or what he was going to do with her. I hope he is taking her to Weir Mitchell so she can get the proper attention she deserves. I wanted to help her more but her obsession with the wallpaper made it difficult for me to do so.