Ranting of a Madwoman

                    I am surrounded by 'things'. What are these things one might ask? It is simple: It is a creature that looks like you and me but have no sense of empathy or compassion when an actual human dies. I learned that the hard way following the death of my grandfather who was like a father to me since childhood. I remember it like it was yesterday June the sixth of nineteen ninety three when he died of natural causes at the old age of one hundred. I couldn't control my tears as they poured down my cheeks like rain. My hands are in my pockets shaking with grief but as I look up to see everyone around me, my mind is ready to scream. My mother well the thing that believes itself to be my mother was talking to an old pastor like it was no big deal. Are we seeing the same thing?! Your dad also known as my grandfather is dead, and you're talking to the pastor like it's a picnic!  Then there's the creature that claims itself to be my father laughing with the being called my brother Mark. I was so angry at what I was seeing...how can they just move on knowing that he is gone? How can they just do it without any problems? This isn't normal...that isn't how a human is supposed to react when their loved ones are gone. At least show something to let me know that you had some love for the guy! But of course there is nothing...it is almost as if my grandfather never existed to these people. They have to be something...but what are they? Are they aliens from some unknown planet that have come to observe us humans? Or are they some subterranean beings that have evolved to look and act like us but have no emotional ties to us? I don't know these questions but from this moment on, I have to be very cautious around them. I suddenly see my 'mother' walking up to me to give me a hug but you can't fool me. I step back and mutter "Don't touch me." to her before I leave to the car. That earned a lot of shouts for my name but I don't care. I have to keep an eye on them.

        

                That was three months ago and now my 'family' are convinced that I am going insane. That it isn't right for me think of them as 'things' that they are in fact my family and that I should just be normal. It's hilarious in my opinion that they think that I am the inhuman one when they're the ones that can't mourn over the loss of my grandfather! My 'father' thinks that I should take a permanent residence to the Loony bin but my 'mother' is against it. "The poor child is just a little troubled that's all." I can hear her from the top of the staircase speaking softly, well I'll give her this much that thing knows how to sound like my mother. Pops on the other hand is definitely acting a lot like my father as he yells that I need professional help and that is why I need to go to an Institution. In the end of that year they divorced, Mark blames me for that telling me to get over the loss and just be normal. If I wanted things to be normal then you things would be gone and my real family would be here to come save me from your grasp. Where are you my real mother? Where are you my real father? Even Mark an annoying pain in the ass that you are...I need you here...please come save me. Save me from these things that are pretending to be my family. Please tell me that this is some sort of horrible experiment that should be shut down any time soon.



               I guess the last straw was at the family reunion which in my opinion the worst place to put me. 'Mother' decided to dress me up in a nice blue dress since it was spring. It was going to be at a local park where the rest of the clan was meeting. By clan I mean the rest of those things, yeah isn't it sad that everyone except my grandfather and myself are the only humans in this group? Everyone else are things...they didn't even bother to come see my grandfather before or after his death. What makes them any more human than the supposed family that I am with. I stay as far away from everyone as I can. I don't want to talk to them and I most certainly don't want to be around them. 'Mark' seemed annoyed by my protest and grabbed me by the arm. I screamed for him to let go of me before I called the cops. Frustrated he did so but not before cursing at me for all of our families' problems. No 'Mark' this isn't my family! This can't be them! I don't know what you or your cohorts did to them but I know I have to find them before I may ending up being like one of them. In the end because of the outburst I stayed in the car. That's fine with me since I don't want to be around any of those things. It lasted for a good while and at some point I fell asleep. I was immediately jolted awake when I heard the car door slam shut. It was 'Mom' and she looked very annoyed. "I don't know what your problem is but now you went and done it. I tried to do everything in my power to find out what is going on in your mind but you won't let me in. I should have done what my ex-husband told me to do and take you to the professionals!"

         
                Now here I am locked up in one of the rooms of the facility. The doctors explained that I have Capgras delusion or Capgras syndrome in which I believed everyone around me is replaced with an impostor. Trust me doctor...it's not a belief, it's the truth!' He told her it was quite common with people who have paranoid schizophrenia. Though he told her that there were many causes for the accident that the fact that it triggered around the time of the funeral was unusual. I remembered the doctor placing a hand on my shoulder before telling her, "Don't worry. It is usually common with young woman around our new patient's age." He then ordered for a couple of tough guys to come get me and take me to my new home. I hate this place but I guess it's better than staying with those things. They did try to get me on some medication but no matter what I am not taking the damn pills! The doctor of course said it was good for me and may help me feel better but I didn't take them. In fact every time one of those nurses tries to give some when she isn't looking I throw them out the window. I absolutely refuse to see 'Mark' or my 'Mother' because I know that's not them! They try to visit me but I don't want to see them. I know they're fakes. Eventually the doctor decided that they should stop for a while until and I quote this "The patient gets better." Well I will continue to oppose because I know deep down my family is out there somewhere. I don't know where but I just want them to know that I love them. Please let me go see my real family...