The Girl in the Wallpaper

I don’t know where I am, but I do know that I should not be writing. I found an old marker and an old book in this room that I am confined in. The room is mostly empty. There is just a cot, an old dresser and some boxes filled with what looks like old household items. It seems like I am in someone’s basement, but who’s, I am unsure. I was grabbed by this man off the street. As he blindfolded me, he dragged me to his vehicle. After a drive that seemed like forever, here I am. There is one door in this room, a thick wooden door, with a lock on only the outside. I can only see the outside through a barred window at the top of the wall. I see grass and flower stems. Although it is such a plain view, I wish so much to be out there.

 Why he chose me, I don’t know. How long I’ve been here, I don’t know. I spend my days staring at the walls, which are wallpapered with the most hideous pattern of yellow swirls. The paper is peeling in some spots, revealing the bare wall underneath. It looks old and tattered and like nothing I would want in my home. As horrific as it is, the paper takes my mind off of what is really going on. I will not write down what the man does to me when he comes to see me. If I write it, it will be real. I will never like this wallpaper, but for now it’s all I have.

The scene from the tiny window stays the same every day. I used to enjoy looking outside, but now all I see between those dark metal bars is the same grass, and that doesn’t interest me. I feel better just staring at the walls. For some reason, this wallpaper seems to be changing the longer I look. The pattern is shifting, it looks even worse than before. Those hideous swirls are actually moving and forming objects and pictures. I never thought wallpaper could move, but now I must change my mind because the swirls are moving before my eyes! It’s almost as if the paper is alive. For a second I actually thought I saw a pair of eyes in the pattern. A shadow of the silhouette of a man is forming on the wall! He must be coming back for me.

Time keeps passing and I do not hear the man coming. The shadow is still, he must not be moving. He must be standing there just watching me! But there are no windows in that solid wood door… He couldn’t be watching me. This is not my shadow. As I walked towards it, it stayed still.

 It is gone now. This terrible paper is making me crazy. How could I have seen a shadow? Or perhaps it wasn’t a shadow. Could there be someone behind the wall? Maybe that is why the paper is moving. The girl trapped inside is trying to get out. I must free the poor other girl, she must be suffering just as bad as I. I think the man knows that I have thought of freeing the girl on the inside of the paper. He looked at me with even more hatred and beat me even worse tonight. I am losing time to free her, I might be gone before too long.

 I have started to rip the paper slowly, starting in the corners. They are already tattered there so the man won’t notice. I can see the girl in the paper again, as she probably sees me. She is moving back and forth against the yellow wall. I want to help her so bad. I am clawing at the wall and tearing at the paper but I can’t seem to find her. I start to follow her silhouette with my shoulder on the wall. I pace back and forth with her, hoping she knows I am there. The paper is rubbing off on my shoulder and turning me yellow. Our bodies are becoming one and we are beginning to look the same.

I am not sure how long I have been pacing now but I feel so comfortable, like I actually belong here. I have rubbed a ridge in the wall and I fit perfectly in it. I never thought I would say this but I love this shade of yellow I am becoming. I want to be completely inside of it, then I can be with the other girl. The man came into my room screaming, asking me what the hell I was doing. But I don’t even care. I will keep creeping back and forth until this is over. Maybe one day I will be safe inside the wallpaper like the other girl and he won’t even notice me.